There’s something about My Very Brief Stint As A Tuition Teacher

It was Teacher’s Day a few days ago, and this really cute friend of mine got a really cute card from her really cute tutee. I also heard the lucky seven-year old got to hug and kiss her, and I thought to myself: no wonder they say kids are getting luckier nowadays.

Anyway, I saw the card and felt jealous immediately because… I have never received a Teacher’s Day card before! I pondered long and hard about why that is so, and finally came up with two very good reasons:

1) I am not a teacher.
2) Nor am I a tuition teacher.

Confession time: I did try my hand at tutoring before. It was just after my ‘O’ level results, and this friend who was a year my junior approached me to guide her in the Principles of Accounts. I said yes immediately because she offered to treat me McDonald’s in return for the favor (yes, I am cheapo).

What I didn’t know at that point of time, was that she wanted the tuition at her place.

As a family-oriented blog, Barneysaurus have this piece of advice for you: Never, NEVER ever visit the place of a member of the opposite sex, because it’s dangerous ok? I shudder to think of what might have happened: she could have molested me and I would have been left traumatized to this day. *Shudders

Anyway, I wasn’t thinking of anything funny, if that’s what you’re thinking, because I am a very, ahem, decent and innocent boy. So I prepared the notes and went over to her place the next day as agreed.


She: Wah! You very punctual leh!

Me: Haha, I don’t like to keep people waiting! Where’s uncle and auntie?

She: Huh? They are working lah.

Me: Oh! Eh, ok… where should we start?

She: We’ll study at my room ok? Got air-con there. Very hot today lah.


So we started the tuition session. After an hour or so, it was apparent that the tutoring couldn’t continue because we couldn’t bear it any longer:


She: I give up! This debit and credit thing eludes me!

Me: Hmmm… actually you just have to follow the steps I taught you here, here, and here….

She: I don’t understand! Why must debit be on this side and credit on the other side?!?!

Me: Eh… I also don’t know! It just so happen to be this way lah!

She: Your tutoring cannot make it.

Me: That’s because you are a dumb tutee.

She: More like because you are a lousy tutor.


Basically, we both felt like strangling each other after awhile.

Then we both got a shock because the door room opened suddenly. No, it was not the seventh month thingy. It was her dad. And I was really glad I am a decent and innocent boy because I might have got my neck broken if I wasn’t.

Her Dad: Aor! You teaching her tuition huh? Good good, I don’t disturb you two!


At the end of the day, my friend and I came to the common conclusion that she was hopeless in accounts, and that I will never be able to make a living as a tuition teacher. She also went back on her promise about McDonald’s, and I believe that brought bad karma because she went on to fail accounts that year.

Muahahah!

And that concludes my very brief career as a tuition teacher.

Signing off, Barneysaurus