Possibly fictitious, Positively ridiculous, Potentially delirious

Thursday, December 22, 2005

There’s something about That Boyband Concert



Hello boys and girls :D!

As I was telling everyone sometime back, the impossible became possible when I bought two tickets for a concert by this Taiwanese boyband that goes by the moniker 5566.


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B3 nearly puked when I said I think I’m more hamsen. Damn.


I have to be frank here: B3 is absolutely crazy over 5566, but I think they look sissy I’m not really that enthusiastic about them. When B3 told me that the name 5566 is supposed to represent the 5 (or was it 6?) talents the boys have, I wanted to roll my eyes but thought the better of it because she might dig them out (the eyes, not the boys). I have a violent but adorable girlfriend, heh heh :) . . . .

But I got a feeling that I’ve made a terrible mistake the moment I reached Singapore Expo: There must be like gazillions of rabid 5566 fans making their way into the concert hall, and for a moment, I was reminded uncomfortably of the scene in Lord of The Rings when the orcs swarmed into the Goondu castle, or something like that.


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Si Gina! You dare call who Goondu?!?!


Anyway, we managed to make our way to our seats without any injuries. I looked around, and discovered that basically, Taiwanese boyband concert goers can be classified into 3 broad categories:


1) The hormonally-charged, screaming, adoring female fan in her teens

2) The hormonally-charged, screaming, adoring middle-aged aunty

3) The bored boyfriend with that perpetual “I-am-sibeh-sian” face


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Just in case you’re wondering, this is not me, but just some nameless guy on the net. Don’t be goondu lah!


I’m proud to announce I don’t belong the any of the above 3 categories because firstly, I’m not female, and secondly, I don’t want to sulk the entire night away. There’s no point in attending a concert unwillingly, because you’ll technically be subjecting yourself to a very slow, very painful, and not to mention very expensive 3.5 hours. There’s much better things you can do with that time, such as watching Barney reruns on TV.

With that in mind, I went in with the idea of enjoying myself. We even bought those light sticks so we can wave them around when the concert starts. And when I did that, walau, I felt like a hormonally-charged, screaming, adoring female fan in my teens.

The concert finally started after awhile, and I nearly went deaf. The adoring female fans were really in the mood, what with their ear-bursting screams, signboards that proclaims ‘I Want To Marry You’, and the amazing ability to memorize every lyric word for word.

I think they are damn athletic too, because they all stood and waved like crazy every time the boys appear on stage.

To their credit, the boys really put in a lot of effort into the concert. There must be like at least five hundred costume changes, and six thousand dance steps to remember. Their vocals are not that strong, but let’s face it: that’s not what most people are there for. They were there to entertain, and if the glazed look on that nearby ah-mah is any indication, they achieved their objectives I guess. I just tried my best not to laugh too loud when they appeared in their cannot make it eh, weirder costumes, while riding bicycles and shooting hoops.


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Better don’t laugh at us, if not we hoot you then you know ah!


Anyway, the most amazing sight that night was not the numerous stunts the boys did. There was this couple who was sitting a couple of rows ahead of us, and somehow, the guy who most probably had a ‘I-am-sibeh-sian’ expression somehow managed to sleep the concert through despite all the screaming. I think he was either very sleepy, or wearing ear-plugs or something. Because he was in such a deep slumber, I guess he was also obliviously to the wailing arms of his obviously excited girlfriend.

As I was saying, it was quite an enjoyable show (I can’t believe I just typed that), and we knew it was going to end when the boys gamely came out for the prearranged encore (B3 and I knew it was prearranged because we saw the backstage crew bringing in the drums even before the crowd started screaming encore). We also noticed that the I-am-sibeh-sian-so-I’ll-pretend’I’m-sleeping guy was gone. His girl was gone too. I just hope they left not because they quarreled, but because they needed to go to the washroom badly, or forgot to put parking coupons or something.

All in all, it was a fun experience. B3 even said I cheered louder than her. I think she said that because she was delirious or something.

If you ask me, I guess I find enjoyed it because, well, it’s always the company that counts ;)

Signing off, Barneysaurus

Thursday, December 15, 2005

There’s something about How Busy I’ve Been



There must be like gazillions of songs out there, but I can’t find one that can describe exactly how busy I’ve been recently. So I decided to come up with my own.


I Am Very Busy
Words: Barneysaurus
Tune: Que Sera Sera


I have been so freaking busy,
Sometimes I can’t find time to pee.
So many meetings!
Deadlines to meet!
I think I need MC. . . .

Oh my dark eye rings!
I’m sleepy but I cannot sleep.
But just two more weeks of this,
And I’ll go on leave. . . .

I have been so freaking busy,
Sometimes I can’t find time to eat.
I’m already skinny!
Have pity on me!
Kway chup sounds fine to me. . . .

Oh my dark eye rings!
I’m sleepy but I cannot sleep.
But just two more weeks of this,
And I’ll go on leave. . . .
And I’ll go on leave. . . .
And I’ll go on leeaavvveeeeeeeeeeeeee :)!


Signing off, Barneysaurus

Monday, December 05, 2005

There’s something about The Run I Had Yesterday



Hello boys and girls!

I am typing this despite my various injuries. My muscles are sore, my joints are swelling, and my skin feels patchy. It was as if I just ran 42km under the sun yesterday.

Wait a minute. I did run 42km under the sun yesterday. Here’s a blow-by-blow (and very long) account of what happened*.

*All timings are based on pure agaration


Dec ’04: Ah Seng, my buddy for the longest time, just completed his first marathon and tried convincing me to join him a year later. I replied ‘not in a million years’.

Aug ’05: Signed up for the marathon with Ah Seng. He appreciates the fact I finally took up his offer, but threatened to run off to the other side of the road if I start singing Hai Ou in the race, which I really wanted to.

2 Dec ’05: Went to the SExpo (as in the Sports Expo, you pervert) with Ah Seng and his gal to collect our runner’s kit. Thereafter dined at Carl’s Jr, where we complained bitterly about how expensive the meal was. Tried recovering our cost by drinking as much of the free-flow iced lemon tea as we could.

3 Dec ’05: They say you should always spend the day before an important event with a loved one. And so I did :)

4 Dec ’05, 04:00am: Woke up with a sore neck and a serious desire to forget about the whole thing and go back to bed, because I only managed to have five hours of sleep the night before. Then I thought about the quick buck I can make by selling the finisher’s t-shirt and medal on ebay, so I washed up reluctantly.

04:40am: I had to reach Yishun MRT by 5am for the ferry service, but there was no taxi in sight. Finally managed to flag one down minutes later, though I felt I was overcharged. Sembawang to Yishun need $7.50 meh?!?!

05:05am: Boarded the ferry service, and this uncle with very hairy legs decided to sit next to me. I know he was hairy not through visual means (it was pitch dark in the bus), but his pricky kah mor kept brushing against me. Damn.

05:30am: Reached Fullerton hotel. We were supposed to be ferried straight to the start point, but was told upon arrival that it was not possible due to the road closure. Spent the next five minutes rushing over to the Padang because I needed to deposit my bag, take a quick shit, and meet up with Ah Seng. Damn I was going to be late.

05:45am: Decided not to shit after taking a quick look at the remains of the previous occupant of the temp toilet. Joined the start line eventually, but Ah Seng was out of sight.

05:59am: The atmosphere was really good. I was surrounded by loud music (Final Countdown, dun play play), two DJs who were more enthusiastic than the runners, as well as tonnes of lady runners who were dressed appropriately for the occasion (ie very little… don’t pull my ear please, B3 :D!). I also know this was going to be a solo run when I couldn’t locate Ah Seng.

06:00am: And the race is on! I don’t know if this is a new fashion statement, but quite a few ang mos tied balloons to their backside.

06:20am: We reached Marina South, and was greeted by scores of runners peeing by the roadside. I shook my head disapprovingly at their immodest and inconsiderate behavior. Then I realized my bladder was full too, and hurriedly joined them in watering the plants.

06:30am: I really take my hat off the Kenyans. I just passed the 4km mark when I saw them exiting the 10km bend.

07:15am: I was still feeling good after completing 15km, and decided to eat this energy gel thingy to maintain my vigor. Bad mistake. Maybe it’s just me but it taste seriously yucky. Bleah.

07:30am: Saw more public pee-ers. I blame the lack of bladder control on the ample drinks that were provided throughout the run. I also discovered my ability to dodge incoming missiles after successfully evading the many discarded bottles of Ice Mountain when they came flying near my direction.

08:00am: Entered East Coast Park, where I had fond memories of because of BBQs, birthday celebrations and chalet all-nighters. Not anymore. ECP, I tell you, is pure torture. I hit 26km here (my previous best was only a pathetic 24km), and my ankles and knees have started to feel weird by then already. The sun also came out in full force, and before long, I found myself meekly limping along even though cheerleaders in skimpy outfits did their best to cheer the runners on. In desperation, I decided to eat my second Powergel, hoping it will now taste better. It didn’t.

10:15am: By the time I exited East Coast Park, the Kenyans have probably collected their trophies, bathed in their hotel rooms, and boarded the plane to another race already. Me on the other hand, is a sad picture of a runner jogging along limply, while clutching on to that bottle of diluted 100 Plus as a lifeline. I pondered the possibility of walking the remaining 12km, but the thought of spending another 4 plus hours in the hot sun just freaks me out.

10:15am to 11:30am: From this point on, it was a pure case of mind over matter. My joints were swelling, my upper limbs were numb, and the Katong sun seems to be hotter. The only thing that kept me going forward, besides B3, was the thought of sipping ice-cold Milo at the end of the damn thing. It was a sorry sight: almost everyone around me was struggling, many were slumped in the benches along the way, and quite a few vomited. I also discovered that my post 30km jogging speed is slower than some walkers’, and that some aunties and girls half my size totally outclassed me when it comes to long distance runs. It was a most humbling experience.

11:30am to 11:56am: I was limping along at the final leg of the race, and told myself I will jog to the finish once I hit 40km. But I just couldn’t do it. My limbs hurt like hell and the cramps are getting really bad. I wouldn’t be surprised if I had fainted there and then because I was having blurred vision, and an urge to strangle Ah Seng after the race.

Then I reached Marina Promenade which has a very special place in my heart because of her. And so with her in mind, I pushed myself and finally passed through the finishing line with my arms outstretched and a smile on my face :)


My afterthoughts for the race:

1) Ah Seng, I owe you and your gal a big one for waiting for me even though you finished like close to two hours earlier?!?! And the iced-milo was a life-saver, haha. . . .

2) I am not going to touch 100 Plus, or any other types of isotonic drinks for the next few months. Yucks.

3) I hope I won’t ever get convinced into torturing myself again. And yes, I did sang Hai Ou at the final leg of the race.


Anyway, I was diagnosed with dehydration, and am currently on two days’ worth of medical leave. It’s great lazing around at home and doing nothing. And I am so not going to jog for the next few weeks. Ha!

Signing off, Barneysaurus

Saturday, December 03, 2005

There’s something about The Run Tomorrow

Updated!


105 days, 400km, and endless mornings of sweat-drenched jogging tee later, it’s finally going to happen in less than 9 hours’ time.


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I’m keeping my fingers crossed that dinos won’t be disqualified


Let’s rock.

Signing off, Barneysaurus

Update (5 December 2005, 7:44am): Yes yes, I completed the damn run already. Will be blogging about my ordeal soon. I am so sick of 100 Plus and other assorted isotonic drinks now. Bleah.

 
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