There’s something about The 27 Year Old Virgin

Virgin
noun
Pronunciation: vir-gin
Meaning: One who has never been laid

Virginist
noun
Pronunciation: vir-gin-nis
Meaning: One who discriminates against virgins

Source: http://barneysaurus.blogspot.com



As one of the former, I often find myself suffering at the hands of the latter. I also think I have the V word branded across my forehead because I was victimized in three separate incidents just yesterday alone.


Case Study #01: The Bus Driver
So I was rushing for class yesterday, which led to me rushing for this bus which was about to rush off. The bus driver was very kind, and waited for me… for about 5 seconds. Midway through my 100m sprint, he decided to drive off, leaving behind a very breathless and very embarrassed me. I thus conclude that the said bus driver is a virginist.

Case Study #02: The Train Driver
Exact same scenario as Case Study #01, except it took place at the train station 15 minutes later. I thus conclude that the said train driver is a virginist, and probably in cahoots with the bus driver in Case Study #01.

Case Study #03: The Cleaning Aunties
Half way through my afternoon lesson, I felt a desperate urge to shi…. cleanse my bowels. So I went to the nearby toilet, and voila! It’s being occupied by a cleaning aunty. So I climbed a level up for the next loo, and was greeted by the sight of another cleaning aunty. I thus conclude that the said cleaning aunties are virginists.


The greatest insult, however, came over MSN from my 12 year old nephew who happens to be a virgin (I hope) and a virginist.


Nephew: You got watch the virgin show?

Me: Dun have. Too busy with school lah.

Nephew: No life sia. Anyway are you a virgin?

Me: (nearly chokes over my HL chocolate flavored milk)

Me: Of course I am lah! Your uncle very innocent one!

Nephew: Not surprised lor, you very pathetic one. Hahahahhahahahahhahaa!


I learnt three things from my MSN conversation:

1) Kids who completed PSLE have too much time on their hands.

2) Kids from my generation are much more innocent.

3) I am so going to choke-slam my nephew come CNY.


Signing off, Barneysaurus

P.S. To B Cube: I promised not to write anything about last night, so I didn't! Do I get a reward or something :)?