There’s something about Chalet Conversations, Part II

Besides getting mocked at during that chalet outing last week, and discovering that three of my former classmates are now openly gay, I also got to reaffirm what must be two of the greatest mysteries of mankind, the second of which is this: Women are attracted to assholes.

What is worse is that they can’t seem to leave them.


Me: My goodness, have you lost weight again?

Attractive female ex-classmate: Haha, I’m on a diet lah. . . .

Me: But you don’t need a diet! You’re slim enough already!

Attractive female ex-classmate who is really slim: Haha… actually, I’m trying to save up. . . .

Me: Wow! Marriage plans? I’ll make sure you get a big ang pow!

Attractive female ex-classmate: Haha. . . no lah. . . I need to help Ah **** with his debts. . . .


Ah **** is this, for the lack of a better description, shithead boyfriend of my friend for as long as I can remember. I’ve only met him once before, and he didn’t exactly left a good impression because he was practically putting my friend down through out dinner with comments like Chicken chop again? You are so boring and No desserts for you because you are fat. My friend ended up ordering fish and chips, forgoing the ice cream, and paid for his dinner too. She also helped him clear his gambling debts he incurred from betting losses in the ’98 World Cup, only to have to do it all over again following the ’02 World Cup.

No wonder my friend doesn’t like soccer.

We suspect she has been abused by him before after a friend saw her wearing shades for work because of certain reasons. In a separate incident, another friend had a long talk with her after spying that jerk behaving intimately with another girl.

I thus find it incredible that she refuse to let go of this relationship. She is the nice and caring sort of friend who would SMS you a cheery ‘Happy Birthday!’ even though you’ve not met up for years, and bothers to ask how your mum is getting along when you meet up in a chalet. Even though she looks kind of haggard last week, she is still very attractive, and I bet there is no lack of suitors from her office in Shenton Way.

The scariest thing is, she is not the only friend I know who clings on to jerks for boyfriends. So the big question is: Why?!?!?

Here’s a list of the common reasons I collated from friends and acquaintances over time:

1) He is my first love.
I’m not sure if this is applicable to all girls, but almost all my female friends told me the first boyfriend always have a special place in their heart. Even if they are shitheads.

2) He can be really nice to me at times.
For my friend, that would be the memorable surprise party he planned for her 21st birthday, or the times he rode her to view the sunset at East Coast (I thought the sun sets at the west?). Unfortunately, my friend fails to see that such acts of sweetness occurs only at times, with the frequency decreasing over time.

3) Bad boys bring excitement into my life.
I have nothing to say about that.

4) I’m scared of losing this relationship and embarking on another again.
I know it is not easy to let go of a relationship. I know it is scary to be single and lonely on Saturday nights again. But frankly, nothing can be scarier than spending the rest of your life with someone who seems to take delight in making your life an absolute hell.

5) I don’t want to leave him because he is rich/ handsome/ ‘well-equipped'.
If that’s the reason, then congrats! The two of you deserves each other.

6) I don’t want to leave him because I believe he will change one day.
This is possibly the worst reason for not ditching a shitty boyfriend. Sorry to shatter your fairytale, but people don’t change. When they do, they change for the worse. If they do change for the better, then they should be the ones making the effort to win you back. It shouldn’t happen the other way round.


I thus conclude that there is no good reason why people should stick around with jerks when they deserve so much better. For goodness’ sake, find someone who can make you happy instead of making you cry. As incredible as it may sound, nice and single people do exist. For example, you, when you finally muster the courage to ditch that shithead.

Signing out, Barneysaurus

P.S. My friend had to leave earlier that night because Ah **** told her to ferry him to a drinking session with his buddies. Damn, we were so pissed.