There’s something about Pop Songs

Hello boys and girls :D!

So I was reading my previous entry, and decided not talk about the three things I said I was going to talk about. This is due mainly to the fact that I am a selfish purple dino who doesn’t really want to share the secrets about world peace, eternal glory, and how to get a digicam cheap. But if you are really interested (and willing to pay cash), I promise to reveal all that and more in an up-coming self-penned, self-produced and self-read self-help book titled The 7 Habits of a Highly Effective Dinosaur.

So instead of the secrets to world peace, I’ll be talking about something that has been bothering me for quite some time now: Pop songs. I swear these decadent byproducts of a post-modern society will bring about the eventual ruin of civilization as we know it, and I assure you I have my grounds for making this sweeping statement: according to the papers not too long ago, more and more youngsters are ‘getting it on’ and answering the nation’s call for more babies. This is totally unheard of among the teenagers of my time, when all we did for leisure was admiring each other’s coin collection and catching butterflies at Marina, while singing gaily to xin yao ditties.

I blame the promiscuity of today’s youth on commercial pop songs, which are full of sexual innuendoes. I suggest they be banned from the airwaves to protect the innocence of our future generation. Here’s a list of popular and seemingly harmless songs that we can start with:


This Love by Maroon 5
Sample Lyrics:
My pressure on your hips
Sinking my fingertips
Into every inch of you
Cause I know that's what you want me to do
Comments:
What can I say? This song is downright decadent. I suggest not only do we ban the song, but also get Maroon 5 marooned on some deserted island. Haha. I know. Damn lame. Haha.


Don’t Know Why by Norah Jones
Sample Lyrics:
I don’t know why I didn’t come
I don’t know why I didn’t come
I don’t know why I didn’t come
I don’t know why I didn’t come
Comments:
If this is not the anthem for sexually frustrated women, I don’t know what is.


The Blower’s Daughter by Damien Rice
Sample Lyrics:
And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
Comments:
As you can see from the sample lyrics, there’s really nothing dirty about the song at all. But when a classmate first told me about the song, I seriously thought she was talking about porn.


Santa Claus Is Coming To Town by Dunknowbywholah
Sample Lyrics:
He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
You'd better be good for goodness sake
You’d better watch out and you better not cry
Comments:
This is a scary thought, but voyeurs and stalkers could possibly been influenced by one of the most popular Christmas songs of all time.


Stand Up For Singapore by Dunknowby whoalsolah
Sample Lyrics:
Stand up for Singapore!
Do the best you can
Reach out for your fellow man
You got to make a stand!
Comments:
Answer the nation’s call for a higher birth rate by standing up for Singapore, literally.


Ok, I know the last two songs doesn’t exactly fall under Pop, but my eyes are getting really droopy already can? Before I sign off, let me recommend a song that everyone should be listening instead. This song is also dedicated to, eh, nevermind, secret, haha. . . .


I Love You by Barney & Friends
Sample Lyrics:
I love you
You love me
We're a happy family
With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you.
Won't you say you love me too :)
Comments:
Filled with youthful innocence and cheer, listening to this song on a regularly basis will lead to long term benefits such as world peace and eternal glory. Listeners are encouraged to swing their tails and dance along to the infectious beat that goes dum-di-dum, or something like that.


Go forth and spread the love!

Signing off, Barneysaurus